wake up, go down on your knees
cough out your heart
it slowly bursts
letting you feel the pain
out comes your lover
laughing, hits, punches you
bruises head to toe
why can't you see what hes doing?
he promised no more
your head hits the wall
fall down
hands and knees on the floor
the blood comes out with every tear
water and blood mixing
just like you and him
doest match
but you thought you did
15 years have gone by
can still see the bruises and fear
everytime you open your eyes.

Death comes faster than you think
mistakes staining your blood and heart with ink
lifes a journey to find the missing link
loosing more on the way
ever wonder why at the end they sit and lay?
because the journey kills you
pulls your energy away from everything you do
some expirience more pain as a child
they dont know how to do so the pain is piled
wake up every morning crying
because they did wake up.

The wind in my hair
my eyes just stare
its a nice view up here
but i can smell the fear
she walks in
drops everything
she screams
she tells herself its just a dream
no blood-no mess
in my pretty orange dress
she wanted me to wear it more
the rope cuts into my skin, the blood begins to pour
now he walks in, they both begin to cry
i told them i wanted to die, they thought it was just a lie
attempts everynight
with a pen, razor, knife
i wasn't happy
being me
now its too late
they couldnt be more upset, i felt the rope break
alive, still, wishing i was dead
my attempt failed.. once again

The wind in my hair
my eyes just stare
its a nice view up here
but i can smell the fear
she walks in
drops everything
she screams
she tells herself its just a dream
no blood-no mess
in my pretty orange dress
she wanted me to wear it more
the rope cuts into my skin, the blood begins to pour
now he walks in, they both begin to cry
i told them i wanted to die, they thought it was just a lie
attempts everynight
with a pen, razor, knife
i wasn't happy
being me
now its too late
they couldnt be more upset, i felt the rope break
alive, still, wishing i was dead
my attempt failed.. once again

My cat has very long nails
i told my mom, my lie seemed to prevail
these gashes in my arm arent so easy to hide
but trying to hide the fact that i lied
is harder because she knows me
but not the real me, inside suffering agony
crying myself to sleep everynight
the way i feel now to then just isnt right
i miss the laughing, the smiling, the excitement
what i feel now is an indictment
black clouds, rain and pain
followed is a huge amount of shame
hurting yourself is what its called
it feels fyne, my insides are what worry me they feel mauled
by this dog ravage and bloodthirsty
ripping apart the insides of me
this leash is working pretty much
but remembering to put it on is hard enough
close my eyes at the end of the day
lay there peacefull and quiet i pray
dear god make this my last breath...